Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Mrs Husband

I’ve written about this before too and how much it annoys me- the tradition to address a married woman with her husband’s name and this "Mrs" thing. And even though traditions in general can be nice (after all I'm a sucker for Swedish keep Swedish traditions alive and learn American ones), this is one that is just pure way too old fashioned to be kept alive.  Why do you have to differentiate women between married one and not married - when you enver differentiate the men?  I read this article about it the other day - which confirmed how firmly rooted this tradition is here. 

Even though I opted to take my husband’s name when I got married (luckly his was perfectly fine and nice so it wasn’t a too hard of a decision) – I still have my own first name, thank you very much. And just like the author of the article - how are you then supposed to address divorced women? Do you then loose your "Mrs" and become a "Ms"? 

So if you sent me an invitation to Mr and Mrs TheHusbandsFirstandLastName I might now show up just out of pure spite. 


6 comments:

petchie said...

Vissa av mina föräldrars vänner, kommer inte ihåg nu vem men antagligen de som är lite äldre, adresserar julkort till Familjen Peter + efternamnet, dvs min pappas namn. Ända sedan jag var liten har jag ifrågasatt det sättet att adressera brev och kort!!
Jag har inte bytt till Os efternamn och vissa vänner har adresserat brev till oss med bådas efternamn dvs P och O H***-M****. Själv tycker jag att det är bättre att skriva ut bådas fullständiga namn (dvs P H*** och O M****) när par inte har samma efternamn.
Det är väldigt intressant att studera hur man gör med efternamn i olika länder, t.ex har jag franska kompisar som tog varandras namn när de gifte sig så de har BÅDA dubbelnamn nu!

Ally said...

I have always used "Ms" with my maiden name and my current. Most of my kids' teacher have preferred Ms. as well. Especially since more people are divorced (and it costs quite a bit to change your name back). It isn't my business to ask people what their marital status is.

And to add to what petchie said, my Swedish friend who married her Italian husband, she took his name. Which in Italy meant that everyone thought they were brother and sister. You keep your maiden name when you marry. The Italian authorities looked at them sideways when they did any official work and they went in as a married couple with the same last name. Lucky for them they look nothing alike. :-)

Anna, Fair and True said...

Usch ja! Jag höll med dig då och håller med dig nu!

JaCal said...

Petchie - det är ju så knäppt så det finns inte... just eftersom man kan välja precis hur man vill så är det ju ologiskt att hålla fast vi denna dumma tradition.

Ally - exactly - your martial status should not care whatsoever! Haha - ok - not to self - use maiden name when in Italy! ;-)

Anna - en urdum tradition!

petchie said...

Spanjorskor och belgiskor byter inte heller namn när de gifter sig... Jag använder ALDRIG Mrs utan alltid Ms när jag skriver formella brev, för man vet ju faktiskt inte och tycker att det är en mer demokratisk titel!

Lena said...

JaCal,
I guess I should start by introducing myself. My name is Lena, I am married to an American and we live and work in Arkansas since 3 years back. I've been reading your blog for a long time now and find a lot of your topics interesting. This one especially since it's been a pet peeve of mine ever since I got my first wedding invitation addressed to "Mr and Mrs MyHusbandsFullName". I just don't understand how the wife's own identity can be so completely lost and taken over by the husbands. What amazes me even more is that some women actually still agree with and even prefer to be addressed that way. Even girls my generation (in their 20's).

I discussed this topic with my German friend when she was getting married last year and she said she had addressed all her invitations with the woman's name first, because she liked it that way. She was torn when she got to her brother's invitation who had a new girl-friend that she barely knew, but still ended up putting the girl-friends name first...

Lena